I'm now pregnant, not just overweight.

Shortly after that lengthy post about my husband and I not trying for a baby until next year, I found out I am pregnant! It’s kind of funny, really, because I was having second thoughts about posting that entry in the first place lest I turn out to be expecting. Tama pala ang hinala ko hihi!

How I told Mr. L

Stangely enough, after citing all those reasons why this is not a good time for us to have a baby, I turn out to be very excited to start a half-MJ-half-Dimple breed of little humans (yes, we’re not stopping at one). I do not know how I’m going to fare as a mother (gawd, even that word intimidates me) but I do know that my husband is going to be an awesome father and I'm not unwilling to try to be a good parent myself. For one, he loves kids! He even used to babysit his cousins’ kids FOR FUN! *insert bewildered reaction of me here* So at least I only have to worry about my own aptitude as a future parent hehe.

We’ve just finished shooting a film for Cinema One Originals (where my colleagues were very considerate about my vulnerabilities that come with the first trimester of pregnancy) and my days now are mostly spent sleeping. Seriously, I can’t seem to do much else. Like the other day, I had an appointment so I woke up early and prepared to go out. Just when I was drying my hair, I suddenly felt so tired I had to lie back down. I woke up with a start late in the afternoon na! Ugh! My siblings-in-law sometimes don't know that most days I’m just in the other room, hybernating haha!

When I’m not dozing off or dealing with the inconstant queasiness in my tummy that one usually feels during long land trips, my emotions are shuttling back-and-forth being excited for the new baby and being scared about not knowing what to do with her/him when he/she comes! I’m so psyched about the cuddly, fragrant, delightful baby but I’m not sure I’m ready for the other things, like labor pains (how much does it hurt, anyway?), for baby bath time, feeding time, poop time, burp time etc. What if the baby hates me? What if I fall asleep while it’s on my arms? What if I can’t make it stop crying? HOMAYGAD! Officially freaking out!

My comedian husband posted this on Facebook LOL!

On the other hand, whenever I get tags from my husband on Facebook of cute little babies, every time he reminds to get something to eat on time, take my vitamins, smear myself with plenty of insect repellent, when we try to guess which traits and/or features our baby will get from either of us, everytime we suppress giggles and laughters in the middle of the night while imagining what our life will be like with the baby, my fears are mollified. When I look at him and see how excited he is about the baby and how confident he is about me, about us, it makes me believe I can do it, too. After all, the universe always conspires to give us what we want and with plenty of help to protect them.

I'll tell you a secret: I used to find it difficult looking at ultrasounds,
I didn't know what to see! Hahaha!
But when it was my turn! I saw our little jellybean!

Oh, we’re so excited to meet you, little human, I hope we don’t disappoint you.