Isang tula: Takipsilim

Photo by DOP Marvin Reyes

Ang paligid ay dahan-dahan nang dumidilim

habang ang ating mga kamay ay magka-tiim

Panandalian, tayo'y magkakawalay

hanggang bukas ako'y maghihintay

Tila habang-buhay ang gabi

sa tagal nito'y, 'di ako mapakali

Hindi na ako makapag-antay

sa panahong hindi na tayo maghihiwalay

Ngunit sa ngayon,

susulitin muna ang panahon

habang ang kapaligiran ay unti-unting lumilimlim

Ha'mo bukas, magkasamang muli tayo hanggang takipsilim.

* * *

Earlier today, I saw a young couple in our street holding hands and slowly walking to (what I assumed was) the girl's home. They seemed to be savoring each second, each step, each moment that they are together before they reach the gate. They'd probably see each other again in the morning (I'm not sure) but the way they were acting, makes you think that one of them is moving abroad. Hay, young love. So intense. Kaya napasulat tuloy ako ng tula haha!

*Disclaimer: I'm not really a poet and if I defied any rules in poetry writing, please find it in your heart to forgive me. Mahilig lang akong magsulat pero hindi pa po ako magaling. TY! :)

The importance of a workspace

Since I work at home most of the time, it's often a challenge to put myself on "work mode". Of course it's nice that I can work while in bed, or while lounging in the sofa, or nibbling stuff at the dining table, admittedly there are days when I have to wait for some type of mood to set in before I can start working and it's especially difficult when I have a deadline to meet.

I've read somewhere (I forgot where) that it is important to have an area at home where you can work, that way, you can easily set your mind to finish tasks even with the bed literally just a few steps away. For the past two months, my work area has been the bed (haha the irony!). I sit on a cushion on the floor and use our bed as a table. I've tried working while sitting on the bed, with the laptop on my lap (where I imagine it originally belongs because of its name) but I can't seem to get my mind to start functioning properly, I almost always end up just browsing the net or watching yet another episode of Friends.

Twice I've also tried writing deliverables while on the couch, but then I thought, what is sitting on the couch without turning the TV on, right? So I turn on the TV and I end up watching women slapping each other and tearing each other's hair out of their heads. What's up with that? I finished my scripts alright, but it took me a couple of hours more than what's necessary!

Now, there's this space right outside our bedroom that sort of became the dirty laundry area. It has a table (my husband's study table) on the corner, placed right in front of a window beside an empty white wall!!! Anybody who's been on Pinterest knows this is a gem of an area! Right?!!?? Okay, I'll admit it, the moment we moved here to this house I immediately thought "oh, what a nice corner to put a home office in!" but you see, we live with my husband's siblings and I'm not entirely sure what they'd think if I just suddenly put up an "office" in a common area. However, seeing as how it just turned into a space where we all put our laundry baskets, I think I'll go ahead ask them if I can redecorate it and turn it into a work area. Okay, my work area. Hmm..I wonder if I'd have to pay rent for my "office". 

Anyway, so I've been pretty hung up on that thought and I've been scouring Pinterest for nice yet plausible work area designs. Something I can recreate and personalize with a very veeeery small budget.

Let me share to you some of my picks. :D

I love the color teal, is that teal? It's super cool to the eyes! I can just imagine myself working on wonderful decks and superb scripts if this was my work area. Yung tipo ng trabaho na approved kaagad ng clients draft 1 pa lang and even when I'd have to revise, I probably wouldn't mind haha!

Same color palette as the first one. I especially like the bulletin board! I can pin my schedules, calendars, and reminders on that pretty cork board. Perhaps some love notes for the husband. Choss!

I think if we have a work area at home, my husband will also be encouraged to use it to do a bit of reading or maybe some work for his small business so even when I super love the previous pegs, I'd probably have to look for a unisex design. Like this one?

I can make the sidewall a "his" area, where Mr. L can store some of his techy tools. I like that the decors required more creativity and less expense. I mean, much as I'd like to make my work area "Pinteresting", I wouldn't be able to afford it just yet.

Okay, this one's probably the most realistic in terms of space. I like the blackboard touch and how it works both as a design and a utilitarian piece. The catch is, given that probably all of us in the house have Allergic Rhinitis, using chalk too much wouldn't really be wise.

And the next is a compilation of different types of work area!

This one is so overwhelming! Oh, my heart!

And of course, my absolute favorite, featuring my niece's study area! This is way more decent than my current home office by the way haha! She designed it herself (she's eleven!) with help from my sister.

That chair looks so comfy!
And her bookshelf is love!

Sigh! I honestly don't know what kind of a work area I can come up with IRL given the limited funds I have but hey, a girl can dream, right? Anyway, the important thing is to be productive even when you're just sitting on the floor using your bed as a table. ;)

Honeymoon soon, please!

Mr. L and I haven't been on our honeymoon yet. Since we just started a little business, our funds mostly go into it. We do, however, already have some cities in mind as early as now hihi! When we finally have enough moolah, we'll definitely up and leave even just for a few days.

Although my husband and I haven't really discussed where to go exactly, these are the few things to be considered:

First, we want to go somewhere beautiful and romantic. Of course! We want to make the trip memorable. After all, it will be our honeymoon.

Second, since it is our first trip with just the two of us, we want to travel out of the country. Somewhere both of us have never been. However, we don't want to waste a lot of hours of Mr. L's Vacation Leaves in transit so it should be within Southeast Asia.

Third, it should be economical. We're not rich. We are right smack in the middle of middle-class so much as we want to traipse around Paris or Japan, we don't have much extra for visa applications, shopping, and extravagant travel. We just want to go somewhere beautiful where we can enjoy each other's company.

With these in mind, I have picked out my top three destinations. Hindi niya alam 'to so we'll discuss this some more when the money is there lelz.

1. Bangkok, Thailand

photo found from the web

Thailand has always been interesting for me. Bangkok, in itself, is rich in cultural heritage and is a suitable mix of old-fashioned and modern. It would probably be a good experience for us to explore this colorful city, ride the tuktuk, and taste their world-famous street food.


2. Angkor Wat and Siem Reap, Cambodia

photo found from the web

Just looking at photos from the web, Angkor Wat is like a different world! It looks right out of a computer game or a story book! I can just imagine how magical it would be to hhww around those larger-than-life temples with my husband.


3. Singapore

How awesome would it be to travel to a country that is so small yet so progressive? Imagine all the travel time we'll save since Singapore has everything there is to see within just a few minutes worth of train rides away from each other! Plus, we both have friends there we can meet for a bit of catching up.

Sigh! How I wish we have enough money to be one of those couples who can travel the world together. Sigh. Di bale, wherever I am as long as Mr. L is with me, I'm happy na. Eme! Anyway, there! I hope we'll get to go veeeeery soon!

Kumusta, ang buhay may asawa?

I get asked this question quite a lot. I don't know about Mr. L but it seems to be the standard greeting to me for the two months that we've been married. At first, I actually try to think about what to say (because I'm like that) but, most of the time, before I can give my response, I notice that the person who asked me has already moved on to another topic. That's when I realized that aside from those who really care, mostly didn't really want to know, they just ask the question for the sake of it haha! After that, I just give a meager "ok naman".

However, because I'm the type of person who overthinks, I thought quite a lot about it and here's my answer to "kumusta, ang buhay may asawa?"

I get to see Mr. L (almost) everyday. I work weird hours. Sometimes I get to stay home a lot, sometimes I rarely get to go home. When we were just mag-jowa (ano ba English nito; dating? going-out? Hahaha!), I used to miss him a lot when I had projects that require me to work over-overtime (yes, double talaga yung "over"). There were times when we'd only see each other for short meals in a week because our schedules don't match. Now that we're married, no matter how late I sometimes have to stay out for work, I know I could always see him at the end of the day. Yiihii! Of course, there are projects that make me go out-of-town for days but after that I get to go home to him instead of an empty apartment and that's quite a good change.

Home alone no more. A scaredy-cat is what I am. I like paranormal stories but I get scared easily haha! I alternately lived alone and with a housemate for the past six years before I got married. During the times when I lived alone, I would get so paranoid I slept with all the lights on in the apartment or would get up in the middle of the night just to check again if I locked all the windows and doors. I don't have to worry about that anymore. Although I had such a great time living by myself, I kind of like the idea that I won't have to do that again.

This crazy adorable husband of mine posted this online!
Talk about airing showing your dirty laundry in public! lol!

I get shocked by the amount of laundry we have every week. Before I got married, I only had to bring my laundry to the laundry shop and come back for it (cleaned, conditioned, and folded) later in the day. Well, except my delicates. But that was about my weekly laundry routine. Mr. L, as it turns out, is not a fan of laundry shops. He thinks they're impractical and they ruin clothes, and now I do, too, seeing my barely-one-year-old shirt all stretched-out in the neckline. So we do our own laundry now and it's quite taunting seeing a week's worth of dirty clothes, ang dami pala! Huhu! Added on my wish list: a hardworking washing machine.

Note to self: I have to learn how to cook. Stat! My Mama is the best cook I know. The kitchen has always been her territory so I never felt the need to learn how to cook ever since hehehe. When I was single, I ate out a lot because it was more practical and convenient. I only know how to make sandwiches and a couple of pasta dishes. Mr. L, on the other hand, is really good in the kitchen. However, because he's the one who has a regular eight-to-five job, he barely has the time and energy to cook once he comes home. Nakakahiya that I only serve him fried fish or fried chicken most of the time. O kaya inihaw. He doesn't complain naman but still. So I learned how to cook tinola and paksiw recently. Tapos puro naman paksiw at tinola ang ulam hahaha! I have to learn how to make more dishes. Help!

I have to keep in mind that I am sharing a space with someone. Quite a number of boxes have yet to be unpacked since we moved to the new house. My boxes. They were stuff from my small apartment that I thought would all fit in this house. However, I have to keep in mind that this is no longer just my space. I'm sharing it with my husband. So I'm now getting up the grit to open those boxes and throw/give away all the stuff I won't be needing. May pagka-sentimental kasi ako, kaya madaming clutter sa buhay ko na kailangan nang ilet-go (charot!).

It is not only me who makes decisions anymore. Even when I was a little kid, I'm told that I've always been gala, I even used to bring my classmates home in kindergarten dahil lang gusto kong gumala hahaha! When I grew up, I hung out A LOT with my friends. Hindi naman kami masyadong gumagala non, but we used to hang out almost every weekend at one of our barkada's house; movie marathon, scrabble until morning, pig-out, discussed and debated petty to significant things, etc. All it used to take was one text message and I'm out the door, even during the wee hours of the night. My husband doesn't mind me going out with my friends and we don't have any "rules" set about it either, pero siyempre yung mga biglaang lakad in the middle of the night, I don't feel right about them now that I'm married. Para sa'kin lang naman 'to, no judgement to anyone else.

Annoying caption: off to somewhere hehehe

Numerous things have changed in the past two months, more than I could ever (or am willing to) write, and I'm sure there will be more along the way but that's okay. Change is good, change means we are moving forward and that I am (finally!) growing up. As long as I have Mr. L, I think I'll be fine.

O ayan, mula ngayon pag may magtatanong sa 'kin ng: kumusta, ang buhay may asawa? Sabihin ko na lang: check my blog. Charot! Hahaha!

Movie Review: Blue is the warmest color

My gosh, this film! I'm going to go and say right out that it is not for everyone. After I've watched it, I went on Google and found out that there were a lot of controversies surrounding the film because of the "raw sexual scenes" and of the poor treatment of the cast and crew during production.

Nevertheless, it just blew me away. Originally titled "La Vie d'Adele (The Life of Adele)", it's about the coming-of-age of a Junior High student in France, Adele. How she fell madly in love with a woman named Emma and had her life revolve around her. How they were so wildly into each other in the beginning and how their relationship changed over the years. Just like all relationships. It is about the highs of first love and the lows of being in a relationship that's about to fall apart.

The screenplay is first-rate, it's the kind of film that made me feel like I know the people in it, that their conversations were also my conversations IRL, and that what happened in the movie was something that I have witnessed first-hand, ganun siya, hindi ko siya na-feel na nanonood lang ako, feeling ko nasaksihan ko talaga ang mga pangyayari. Eme!!

Anyway, I know this is not everyone's cup of tea but oh boy, if you love films and if you love French films, this should be at the top of your list.

Character Sketches: Pamilya Ordinaryo Team

Eto na mga bes!

BESt Director Eduardo Roy Jr.
BESt in Editing by: Carlo Franciso Manatad
BESt Actress Hasmine Killip
Netpac Prize

and the BES of the BES

BEST PICTURE. Period. Para mas may impact ganern. Hahaha! Forgive me, I'm obviously elated beyond words. Our team worked hard on this film mainly because we know how good it will turn out to be. I already said before, the script was a page-turner.

Not that I ever had any doubt before but our film bagging all these awards only validated my decision to be in this path. Pinupukaw ng mga magagandang pelikula ang aking pag-ibig sa pagbahagi ng mga makubuluhang kwento. Ayan, naging makata sa sobrang tuwa!

I was already proud to be part of Pamilya Ordinaryo, proud to have (barely) survived the shoot in Delpan, Recto, Quiapo Bridge, to name a few. Proud to have been in the same team with some of the best albeit underrated in the industry (well, underrated until last night). And winning the awards are wonderful bonuses! Because this is my blog, let me tell you more about the key people behind Pamilya Ordinaryo, tipong "Character Sketches" of sorts, para maiba. Alam niyo na naman magagaling sila haha!

L-R Hasmine, Direk Lorna, Direk Edong, PD Harley

Direk Eduardo Roy Jr. Masarap magluto pero hindi marunong mag-tantiya, kadalasan napaparami ang mga niluluto niya. Madalang na madalang siyang magsungit kaya pag nainis siya sa'yo, kabahan ka, ibig sabihin naitodo na niya ang pagpapasensiya. Collaborative. Hindi siya set in his ways. Laging naghahanap ng paraan para mas maganda pa, para mas magaling pa, para MAS PA. Mabilis mag-isip, mahusay mag-desisyon. Walang kapaguran.

Direk Lorna showing Juvan, our MUA, what to do
for the bugbugan in Delpan scene

Lorna Sanchez. Pro-active. At dahil matagal na siya sa pelikula, pinagdaananan na niya simula pagka-PA kaya alam niya kung ano ang trabaho ng bawat member ng team. In short, wala kang lusot sa kanya. Wala ring kapaguran. Coke na malamig lang ang katapat. Malakas ang boses sa shoot, pati crowd control tiklop sa kanya. Magaling mag-motivate ng artista. Scary sa una pero ang totoo, mabait talaga siya. Galit sa late.

L-R PA Mhean, LP Nay Sarah, PM Weng

Sarah Pagcaliwagan-Brakensiek. Alam ang pasikot-sikot ng trabaho niya, mabibigyan ka niya ng instructions kahit tulog at nakapikit siya (totoo, naranasan ko na). Lovable at maalaga. Emosyonal. Madaling mapasaya pero mabilis din mapaiyak. Kasing lambot ng yakap niya ang puso niya. Gusto niya masaya at busog lahat. Ayaw sa mga balat-sibuyas. Supportive. Mabilis magbigay ng instructions kaya dapat mabilis ka ding magsulat. OC.

Albert Banzon. Mabait. Tahimik. Magaling. Kahit mahirapan, naiintindihan niya ang Indie Budget (sorry sorry hehehe). Hindi ko yata nakita kung paano magalit, pero ayokong subukan. Mabilis mag-isip. Walang reklamo. Soft-spoken. Mabait ulit. Nga pala, good-looking.

Hasmine Killip. Maganda. Pero sa set, walang kaarte-arte. Method actress, meaning, pag-break sa shoot, naglalakad sa location kahit walang tsinelas. Malakas tumawa. Mahal ang lola niya. In-love sa asawa. Kahit madaling araw go pa din sa shoot. Sabi niya nung pasko, hindi niya daw ako riregaluhan, di naman ako nanghingi (Hahaha! Labyu baks!). Unang workshop pa lang, mahusay na. Pinaiyak kami ng ilang beses sa shoot, pag umiiyak kasi siya bilang Jane, naiiyak din kami. Humble. Hindi pa niya nare-realize kung gaano kalaki ang potensyal nya.

Ronwaldo Martin. Pogi. Maliit ang mukha (bakit ganun ang mga good-looking, ano?). Sweet. Laging nakangiti pagdating sa set or sa pull-out point, kahit na madaling-araw pa yan. Pala-kaibigan. Iyong mga barkada nila sa pelikula? Hindi sila mapaghiwalay kahit off-cam na. Hindi mo akalain pero mahiyain. Mahusay. Naluluha kami on-set kapag ume-emote na siya bilang Aries kahit na wala namang eksenang hagulgulan. Magaling umakyat ng bakod (Right?). Walang kaarte-arte.

Baby Arjan. Cute! Napaka-bango. Kahit nasa gitna ng center island, walang kaarte-arte, mana yata kay Ron at Hasmine. Madalang umiyak, kapag gusto lang dumede. Kahit sino'ng kumakarga, wala siyang angal (kaya nanakaw eh! hahaha!) Napakabait. Bata pa naghahanap na ng sariling pang-gatas. Mahal namin sa set.

At the CCP before the Awards Night Ceremony
L-R Direk Edong, MUA Juvan, LP Nay Sarah, Me the AP, Ron Martin, Script Con Toffe Sunga

Our last day lunch outside the Supermarket where Arjan was stolen

The team at Delpan

Team Pamilya Ordinaryo. Malalakas kumain. Madalas magtawanan kahit sa gitna ng Delpan. Walang angal. Game sa lahat! Marurunong umarte. Lahat yata sa team umarte na, AP, PA, Utility, Audio Man, Crowd Control, PM, Camera Department, Lighting Crew, Wardrobe, etc. Mabibilis kumilos. Mabibilis mag-isip. Mapagpatawad sa mga booboos. Dedma na sa pikunan. Walang iwanan. Lalo na kung sa Quiapo eh kinukuyog na ang van (kakaloka!). Hindi mahirap pakisamahan. At kung ilang araw kayong magkakasama sa initan, sa usukan, at dugyutan, pagkatapos ng lahat, hindi malabong kayo ay nakabuo na ng magandang samahan.

Mga litrato nina Michael Lacambra. Ang ubod husay at bait naming BTS photographer at ng napakabait at napakatiyagang Script Con na si Toffe Sunga.

Blogging in the Snapchat era

Some of my friends ask me why I started a new blog. Why now when there is Facebook, Instagram, Vlogs, Snapchat, etc? Why now when bloggers are basically going “out of style”? Why now when people aren’t really blogging anymore? Some even pointed out to me “hindi na uso yan”.

The thing is, I’m not blogging because I think it’s cool or because it’s uso. I just really love writing and I wanted a place where I can keep what I write. You see, I’m a very cluttered writer. By cluttered I mean, I don’t know where most of the stuff I wrote are. Except for the ones I submitted to clients – come to think of it, I don’t even have a copy of most of them. Huhu!

Despite of my love of writing, I’m not like others who have dozens of journals or thick and overused moleskines (those dudes are so cool! I wish I could be more organized like them). I do have a few jotters I write on but, I don’t know, maybe I’m just a rebel like that. Ha! Instead, I write on table napkins, blank pad papers, hotel stationaries, journals I don’t really get to fill, phone apps, online posts and multiple blogs. As a result, I lose stuff that I write. Ang lungkot. Sometimes I do find them, but I’ve lost a LOT already and now I regret it. Those are stuff that I’ve written with a specific mindset at certain periods in my life and I’ve lost them forever.

These are all my notes/journals.
I also have some writings on hotel stationaries, scratch, and tissue papers
that didn't make it into this photo because they're too personal.

I thought of putting up this new blog so I will have something where I can keep my thoughts, memories, and random stuff about my young marriage and "career". Something I would not lose when I move houses. Something I can read back when I’m older.

Oh, I’ll continue writing on table napkins, at the back of used scripts during shoots, on scrap papers, but at least I’ll have this blog, somewhere I can keep some of my thoughts about being a new wife and a cluttered writer wobbly on her feet.

Book Recommendations: Second

Finished with the three books I wrote a month ago? No worries, let me recommend some more. What I did this time is glance quickly at my bookshelf and wrote down the first three books that jumped at me. Here goes:

Photo from the web

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan. Ah this has got to be one of my all-time favorites! It's a story about the coming-of-age of two girls, Lily and Snow Flower, in Ancient China; how they blossomed from girls into women, enduring life's milestones together like foot-binding, betrothal, marriage. It's a story of love and how it can make you and, also, break you. How it can bring people together but also tear them apart. How love can make your heart full and also wreck it beyond repair.

This book stayed with me years after I read it. It's beautifully written and wonderfully crafted.

P.S. May movie na pala ito but I haven't seen it! :'(

Photo from the web

Carry the One. I found this from Booksale and I didn't really have much expectations but I was pleasantly surprised. It's about how one event tied a group of friends together long after it happened. One event that changed the course of their lives.

The book follows multiple characters throughout their lives that after you read it, it's like you just watched five seasons of your favorite series! It's a good read, yes, but I'm afraid if you want to feel good, this isn't the one for you.

Photo from the web

Cell. I'm not much of a Stephen King fan, what I am, though, is a fan of zombie movies and series. That's why I enjoyed this book. If you're one of the millions who follow The Walking Dead and think World War Z is awesome, you will appreciate this piece of literature.

There! Happy reading and until the next book recommendations post!

Note: I got the photo covers from the web but these are the covers that I also have. Wala lang, mema lang lelz!

Waray words with no Filipino/Tagalog equivalent

My mother-tongue is Waray. I grew up in Samar and it wasn't until I was in school that I learned to speak Filipino and English. Since I came here to Manila, I've been switching from three languages depending on where I am or who I am talking to.

Flitting in and out of these languages requires me to translate thoughts and ideas from one language to another. There are some words, however, that you can rephrase but can never directly translate. Let me list three Waray words that I think do not have direct translations to Filipino/Tagalog.

1. Intawon. This is best delivered with a sigh or an exclamation of pity or sympathy. Ito yung word na ginagamit when the best effort has been exerted but it's just not enough.

Example:

a. Nag-diet naman ako pero intawon, ito lang talaga ang nabawas sa timbang ko.

b. Intawon, wala na halos magkasyang damit sa'kin. Lahat masikip na!

2. Pastilan is an exclamation of frustration. You use this expression when you are trying to explain but your message just doesn't get across. It can also stand on its own. When you say "pastilan!" the person you're speaking with will get the idea that s/he needs to back off a bit. The closest phrase or word in Filipino would probably be "Naku naman!" or "Maryosep!"

Example: 

a. Pastilan ano pa ba'ng gusto mo? Kumain ka na ng pizza, isaw, ice cream, nilagang manok, hindi pa ka din busog?

b. Nagsi-selos ka don? Pastilan para namang may iba pang papatol sa asawa mo!

3. Sagdat. This one's actually subjective. I asked ten people from my hometown and five said there is an equivalent translation in Filipino. The other five said there are none. 

"Sagdatness" is a negative trait. A sagdat person usually hogs all the attention to him/herself, in a bad, cringey, icky way. S/he also wants to take and take and take without giving something in return. S/he is the person you don't like hanging out at your place because everyone in your home end up hating him/her, and all the food from your fridge goes missing after s/he left. Sagdat is a little more than epal but a little less than gahaman. Some of the people I asked said the direct translation is "buraot" but it doesn't sound about right to me.

Example:

1. Wala ka na nga'ng ambag, ikaw pa yung pinakamalakas mamulutan! Grrr sagdat ka talaga!!!

2. Kaka-mop ko lang ng sahig tapos heto ka at dadaan-daan dito suot ang napaka-putik mong sapatos!??! Sagdat!

Now, I don't know how many Waray friends you've got, but congrats! You've just enriched your Waray vocab by three words! Pastilan, tatlo lang yan pagpasensiyahan mo na, yan lang intawon ang nakayanan ko. Huwag kang sagdat. :D

*Disclaimer: This is a personal claim and has not been verified by a professional. If it turns out that there are indeed Filipino/Tagalog equivalent for these words, my apologies. This entry is based on my personal opinion.

Look pegs

No matter how much I dream it, I will never be twig-limbed. Sigh. So I'm now all about embracing my flaws and turning them around in my favor. This era, after all, is about beauty and sexiness in all shapes and sizes. I mean, even FHM's sexiest woman of 2016 is the curvy kind of sexy! I know Jessy Mendiola is like The BOMB but she's all curves and it's such a refreshing change from the usually spindly models. Plus, her being comfortable in her own skin I think makes her even more sexy.

Na-inspire tuloy ako to highlight my sexy fleshy bodeehhh! Hahaha! Look at these Pinterest finds! I think they're perfect for me.

PG. Pak Ganern!

Perfect for meetings with clients. Comfy but put-together.

Pangarap ko talaga magsuot ng tutu!

Saktong pa-fresh lang.

Problema ko lang, pag upo ko yung mga bilbil ko maglalabasan hahaha! Kebs.

Sweet pero fierce. Love et!

Attend-binyag look hahaha!

Grace Poe uniform. Charot!
Pero lakas maka soshal neto!

I'm not pregnant, just overweight

Let me just start this entry by saying that I love babies and If I get a wonderful surprise one of these days, we (my husband and I) will be properly excited, embrace my pregnancy with all our hearts, and pine for the baby until it comes out. :) Okay, I’m so glad that’s out in the open now.

However, no, I'm not pregnant yet. While I do thank everyone who congratulated me for the "wonderful gift from up above", I'm sorry to burst your bubble but this is just fat in my middle area; an accumulation of all the sugar, salt, and fats I downed over the past five years.

About that, we've also been getting questions about when we are going to “make” a baby. I get, it everyone is excited and babies are precious! I know, I really do. I also do realize that the body clock is ticking and that it is merciless! However, we are planning to wait until next year to start trying. *Insert collective audible horrified gasps*

I know, friends and family are looking forward to little Dimples and MJs running around, it’s funny how some “friends” are being too close for comfort hurrying me up to produce a child. Kaloka kayo! One time, we got such questions from relatives and my husband, poor him, who got really uncomfortable under their prying eyes blurted out “Hindi pa, gusto pa kasi naming gumala kung saan-saan” which warranted a lot of judgy stares on the questioning party’s eyes hahaha!

Bakit pa kami nag-asawa kung hindi pa kami magbi-baby, you ask. Umm, because we love each other? Yes, we do want babies! In fact, I am excited for babies (plural iyan) and I want three! Hihi! And because Dimple and I love babies so much we want to make sure that, first of all, we are emotionally ready. We want to be the best versions of ourselves when we finally get our shot at being parents. Right now, we are still adjusting to living with each other; discovering each other’s quirks, managing our fluid roles in the home as part of a couple, finding out what makes the other tick, etc. As much as possible, we want to settle everything there is to settle between the two of us first bago pa dumating ang mga kidlets. J

Also, with me still wobbly on my feet working freelance jobs, we are not yet financially ready to care for another human being. Dimple and I have enough for just the two of us for the meantime. Kapag late ang fees ko, nanghihingi pa ako sa kanya and I don’t feel too good asking him for money because I have been working since I was nineteen! I think it's understandable how I don’t want our financial state to still be like this when the baby is here. 

It’s so weird because the people who are “atat” for us to have kids are also parents themselves. Ones who can attest that the baby would have needs starting from when we conceive up to, oh I don’t know, until he/she’s eighteen? Of course we are lucky to have parents who will help us out when need be pero hindi ba nakakahiya naman kung pati ‘yung future generation sa kanila namin iaasa? After all, tapos na ang obligasyon nila sa amin. We want the grandparents to enjoy their apos, spoil even, but not spend their retirement money on them!

I know how great it would be when the kids come and we want to optimize our experience with our future kids which will only be possible if they come at a time when Dimple and I are fully ready for them. Hindi na iyong tipong ang saya-saya mo sa baby mo pero nag-aalala ka din kasi paubos na ang diapers at wala ka pang pambili. Or schedule ng baby na magpa-bakuna pero late na naman ang sweldo ayayay!! Or nagta-tantrums yung bata tapos may dispute sa discipline style ninyong mag-asawa. The horror!

I think it’s just right that we don’t want to worry about stuff like that anymore when the baby comes. We don’t want those things getting in the way of our happiness of having a child. If a year is what it takes for us to be prepared, then so be it.

Having said my piece, I gotta go and take a pregnancy test. Kidding! I’m kidding!

For now, here are some photos of us with "borrowed" kids. Hehe

He's so great with kids! :)

I don't think I'm bad with kids either hehe

Here we were with our flower girls

And them boys excluding me from the group hug